In the first book of the Bible, Guiness, God got tired of creating the
world so He took the Sabbath off. Adam and Eve were created from an apple tree.
Noah's wife was called Joan of Ark. Noah built an ark, which the animals came
on to in pears. Lot's wife was a pillar of salt by day, but a ball of
fire by night.
The Jews were a proud people and throughout history they had trouble with
the unsympathetic Genitals. Samson was a strongman who let himself be led astray by a Jezebel like Delilah. Samson slayed the Philistines with the axe of the apostles.
Moses led the Hebrews to the Red Sea, where they made unleavened bread,
which is bread made without any ingredients. The Egyptians were all drowned in the dessert. Afterwards, Moses went up on Mount Cyanide to get the
Ten Amendments. The First Commandment was when Eve told Adam to eat the
apple. The Fifth Commandment is to humor thy father and mother. The seventh Commandment is thou shalt not admit adultery.
Moses died before he ever reached Canada. Then Joshua led the Hebrews in
The, battle of Geritol. The greatest miracle in the Bible is when Joshua told his son to stand still and he obeyed him.
David was a Hebrew king skilled at playing the liar. He fought with the
Finklesteins, a race of people who lived in Biblical times. Solomon, one of David's sons, had 300 wives and 700 porcupines.
Jesus enunciated the Golden Rule, which says to do one to others before
They do one to you. He also explained,
"Man doth not live by sweat alone."
The people who followed the Lord were called the 12 decibels. The
epistles were the wives of the apostles. One of the opossums was St. Matthew who was, by profession, a taximan.
St. Paul cavorted to Christianity. He preached holy acrimony, which is
another name for marriage. A Christian should have only one wife. This is called monotony.
My prayer is that God would give us a hunger for the truth of God's Word, The Bible.